Mama Knows Best; Control Freak

I love my mama. We're verrrry close. Thisclose. I tell her mostly everything..not everything..but mostly. Cuz what mama dont kno wont hurt her..but thats another post..mayb..another time. Anywho, my mom is not the most emotional person in the world...this is where I get it from. She's not the best at comforting alotta times. She'll listen (tho sumtimes I swear shes just pretendin lol), she may give advice..but if u want an oh baby everything is okay..while she's huggin and rockin u bak and forth..u mite not wanna go to her. (yes I is a big ol baby at times) My mom is a straight talker..she aint gonna sugar coat anything. My bro was goin thru a breakup..was tearful..and she told him he needed to get himself together & not be cryin ovr no female. LMAO! (In her defense..thats what I told him too but whatev haha) While I am a pessimist..my mom is about 3X worse. I dunno how many times I've yelled at my mom tellin her I want comfort not for her to scare the livin crap outta me.

For example:

I'm a hypochondriac. Hate and is scared of 99% of anythin medical related. One day I told my mom I've been havin tummy pains..her response "U need to go get checked out..u mite have ulcers". WTF?!?!?!?! Hellooooooooooo mooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmm...I'm a da!n hypochondriac..wth wuld u say sumthin like that to me?!?!??! Even if it is a possibility..the best way to deal with that is to say sumthin like..if it persists..u shuld go to the doctor..but most likely everythin is fine. Or sumthin. Thats not gonna get me ridiculously paranoid and afraid. Thanks mom.

I will admit that my mom does try to be comforting. Prob cuz she's tired of my complaints. So last nite I'm whinin bout life's woes....typical complainin a$$ Soulstress lol..and she says..well nuthin in life is easy but it'll all work out. I kno my mom....and I kno that was hard for her to do bcuz thats not her normal way of thinkin. But she tried. And thats really all I can ask of her. At the end of the day..tho I complain about her lack of comforting abilities...she tries. I luv me Mommy.

***

I came to the realization yestrday that I'm a bit of a control freak. A bit. Not ovr people, but over situations. I'm an impatient, control freak. Mite explain why I'm such an anal planner. And why I do certain things in routines. And why I dont like goin w. the flow. And why I always try to keep the upper hand in relationships.

I like to know when and what is gonna happen. I dont like surprises..well unless its gifts hehhe..or too much spontaneity. I hate when I have things that need to get done, but its not totally up to me. Like things with my internship..I have to make 4 phone calls & go thru 3 ppl just to get 1 thing finalized. I dont like havin to rely on others to get what I need accomplished. This prob has sumthin to do with my trust issues as well lol. I kno I can get things done on time and efficiently..but others....ehh.


For example:

I had been stressin bout Financial Aid...I've done everything on my end..was just waitin for the skool to do their stuff on their end..and I was nervous cuz it was takin a tad toooo long...but this morn evrythin is okie dokie, I've got what I needed..and I can stop drivin myself crazy. Patience really is the key and I need to learn it.**


*sigh* :)

I dont think bein a control freak is totally a bad thing, but it does increase stress and anxiety. So I made a mental note and now need to work on increasing patience and bein ok relyin on ppl to do their jobs/whatevr.

Nuthin like gettin to kno urself;)

**This is what my mom said wuld work out...and it did...mama knows best**