I Survived; Sumtimes; Estrangement

I survived my 1st day of class.
lol.
Tho my mom says I shuld b used to skool by now
I aint used to the anxiety of the 1st day.
Cuz u nevr kno if the teacher gon be trippin
havin 94859485945 assignments etc
that u dont wanna do.
Or if there sum new requirements
u aint kno about.
That u dont wanna do.
Or if u have to do a creative presentation
(WTF)
that u also dont wanna do.
Apparantly folks who took this class previously
wrote songs, did puppet shows, wrote poems
for this presentation i have to do.
Ummm...when did i sign up for a creative arts class?
I culda swore this was the supplemental class to our internship.
Rest assured
I wont be breakin out the guitar.
But I have faith that I will make it thru this last yr.
Internin, thesisin, and creatively presentin and all.
***

Somtimes at work
when I feel
stressed, unhappy, weary, anxious
I text u hopin that u'll make it better.
U always do.
***

I've been dreamin bout my ex-close friend.
Let me give u the cliff notes of what happened:
We were friends for 8/9 yrs, lived together for a yr,
she was a crazy triflin a$$ b!tch durin our cohabitation.
We havent been friends for 2 yrs.
They say dont live w. ur friends
but I got to see who she really was.
No regrets.
Back to the dreams,
it makes me wonder if she is ok
tho we aint friends
I wish the best for her.
The last I saw her she was ok
but I also know she struggles with depression.
Among other things.
*sigh*
IDK.
A few months ago
she apologized for the sh!t she put me thru
& I told her we'd nevr b close again
but I wasnt adverse to remainin in contact with her.
So I hope if she is goin thru it
she wuld put her pride aside
& call.
***

Sumtimes I'm not sure
what I'm doin
why I'm doin it
why ur still here
why I evn care
what it is about u
when will it end
will it end
why I allow it
is it goin to be hard
whats goin to happen
if u will evr undrstand
if u will change
if I will change
if things will change
if I will ever be sure.
Basically
I'm not sure bout u, us, and this.