Whats a Woman to do?
- Drop his a$$ like a bad habit
- Try to become content in the nuthiness we currently have/relationship limbo
- Tell him how I feel/let a ni$$a kno
I think each option has a major pro and con and no option seems better than the othr.
I do have to accept responsibility for sum stuff:
- In the beginning....I was an a$$. I wuldnt really see him bcuz I was afraid of likin/carin for him. I didnt put much effort in. I wasnt totally ovr the trauma from dealin with anothr guy a few months previous..and I wasnt ready to start catchin feelings just yet. I evn told D that I didnt want to like him/care for him. (smh) But I was tryin to guard myself and in the process I pushed him away. Its funny how the things he used to get mad at me for..he now does..ni$$az..I tell ya. (SMDH)
- I've nevr fully told him how I felt for him and my actions can be contradictory at times. One minute I may show I care and the next I may show that I think hes just another random ni$$a. (smh once again) I have let my fear of gettin hurt and lettin my guard down stop me from showin a guy I truly care about that I actually care.
- I let him get comfortable..didnt express my grievances early enuff and when I cut him off..weeks later we're startin back up again.
Thats all i'm accepting responsibility for. Everythin else is his dumb a$$ fault.
Some of my issues with him is:
- he doesnt make enuff time for me
- we dont go out and do stuff
- when he's goin thru things he closes up/shuts down
- He's nevr fully told me how he feels & what he wants
- We're stagnant & I'm ready to move one way/another
If a friend of mine was in this situation...I wuld tell her to cut her losses now. But its not a friend...its me...and I aint ready to let go just yet. Mayb tomorrow. or next week. or next month. just not today.
I dont want to have feelings for sum1 and nuthin is ever gonna progress. Cuz thats settin myself up to be hurt. And it's pointless. And a waste of time/energy. And I HATE wastin time. And I'm mad that I let him get to me lol.
So Idk. This situation is affecting all of my issues w/ relationships (trust issues, control issues, havin my wall up, not expressing feelings..etc etc) & I kno I'm learning & growin. but its still sucky.
Ultimately I've decided to stop stressin ovr it. As much as I can stop stressin hehe. If the opportunity arises..I'll decide and deal with it then. I would like to tell him how I feel about him tho...bcuz if I dont I think down the line I'll regret it. Other than that I havent decided what to do.
Time will tell I suppose.
Comments
I think that you should continue 2 try to be there for the man that your are referring to. I know as a guy, I appreciate it when a gurl is there for me, even when I dont have as much time for her as she would like. By simply calling this all to his attention and leaving it all on the table. Guys (meaning myself as well) are very cut and dry straight forward, and women have to TELL us exactly what it is they want and they have to wait for the results or else shit is just gonna get confused and caught up in the raps. Sometimes certain situations in our lives cause us to close up, and shut down when things go wrong, and when we DID articulate our feelings bad things happenened. Either our feelings were ignored or ridiculed, causing us to "shut down" in later relationships. Im not saying that you should stress over it, cause sometimes you have to let go and let God, but dont give up quite yet cause I guarentee head way will be made sooner than you think one way or another. I hope this helps.
Chris.
Before pouring out your heart to him and how you feel about him, maybe you should ask him what he thinks of you? I did that to this guy I was seeing and based on his response, which was, "I think you are an awesome and motivated young lady...in time we will see where things will go with us, but it's been good getting to know you past surface stuff" I decided to keep it moving. Dude kept it really vague which let me know he isn't serious about getting serious and since I'm not looking for a "homey lover friend" or a fuck buddy, I'm straight.
Dude and I are friends and we still communicate, but I don't allow myself to develop stronger feelings for him, because he's given me no reason to.
The fact is men need to put in more work when they really want a woman. We make it easy for them by spoonfeeding them everything we want and compromising and biting our tongues too much. All the issues you listed that you have with him are substantial enough to say he's not the ONE, because you don't want to give someone a list of things that bother you about them because that suggests that you need them to "change" those things. The one who is truly right for you, will be great despite any flaws or issues you have...
Sorry for preaching...I'm just sick of the bullshit!
U've made valid points.
I'm def apprenhensive of ALL guys that I date...so the hurt thing i believe to an extent. But I also kno that theres things that have happened in previous relationships that I've allowed to keep me from truly lettin my guard down and be in a relationship. And I think most guys i meet are full of bs lol. So i literally wait for them to screw up. But i have to accept responsibility for sum things..and if he can do the same...mayb sumthin will come of it. But I think the 1st step is to tell him that I do care. Cuz I've nevr done it. I dont have to pour my heart out to him...but i wanna let him kno that he's not just sum random guy. Cuz i have treated him like that on many occassions lol.
I have issues and I'm tryin to work thru them so i dont revert back to my previous trifliness lol. And I think D deserves a chance to kno how i feel. And if things end they end...but i cant expect him to treat me a certain way when i dont do the same for him.
Idk..i dont have the answers to this one..but i'm tryin to remain smart. And mayb things go awry but at least i have it a chance and took a risk for once in my life.
You're so PRETTY!!!! i'm mad you didn't have a pic of you up earlier! :)
my house
hell... even my closet
kudos 2 u for thought organization
ive found it best to say how u feel
confront the potential pain head on
that way...
no regrets
and no what ifs
just my opinion, babe
-1-
1...i'm with u...this post is more organized than everythin else in my life cept my office at my internship..i gotta front like i got sum organizational skillz hahaha. Normally my thoughts arent this organized..so thx for noticin hehe. And I agree>>no what ifs/regrets.
Awww...thx Vix!