GTFOH
My plan earlier today was to write a post about what I'm thankful for. Then my bro came over for a suprise and unwanted visit and f*cked up my mood. So now I must vent.
Me and my older bro have had a volatile relationship for at least the past 12 years. Growing up we were extremely close, I looked up 2 him in many ways. But once he left the house and got married to his now ex-wife, things changed. I cant for certain say why it happened or exactly when our relationship took a turn to a worst but things have not been the same for many years.
My older bro is a selfish a$$hole. Now I have my moments of selfishness and a-holelishness, but pretty sure u cant categorize me as such. I'm very giving to my family but with my brother you dont see or hear from him unless he wants something from you or he wants to tell you about something good that has happened in his life. There's no quality time with my brother, theres no hey sis just checkin on ya to make sure ur still alive! I have spoken to him about this, reached out to him on numerous occassions, but there comes a point where if I'm the only one putting effort in repairing our relationship, I have a problem. Evidentually its not a priority for you so I gotta fall back as well.
In the past few years I've had to set boundaries with him. He prob thinks I'm selfish but its not that. If you only call me to borrow money, then every time I'm not gonna have it whether I do or not. And how is it that you are older than me but tend to be the irresponsible one? Yes we all run in2 money issues but with my brother its more irresponsibility than falling on hard times. Plus ur coming from a two income household and you make more than me! Dont you see a problem there?!
I havent spoken to my brother since July because I asked him if he would be a reference for my new car, he didnt have to sign anything, and they werent even going to call him its just a formality.....he told me he wouldnt be a reference for me bcuz he got too many ppl calling him now. ARE U F*CKING SERIOUS?!?!? I already had the car, keys and all, it wasnt as if he was becoming legally binding to the car plus I explained that no one was going to call him (which they didnt call any of my references) and you cant even do that for me?!?!?! So yea, I had to leave him alone b4 I caught a case.
But lo and behold fast fwd four months later, tonite..he comes literally banging on my door asking for money. No how ya doin, no hey its been a minute...just wants to borrow money. So I told him I didnt have it which technically I do but I aint givin my bill money to someone that culd care less about me. Plus he tends to conveniently forgot when he tells a person he's gonna pay him back. But on top of that why should I help you out when whenever I need you there's a problem. I remember one time I asked my brother to come over to move an air conditioner for me and he told me he couldnt because he had to get to the bar. Do you see what I am saying. If I need him its a muthaf*ckin problem but when he needs something I'm supposed to oblige instantaneously.
I love my brother becuz we're fam but I have to love him from afar. I cant surround myself with someone who only cares about what I can do for him. And then if I say no, then I'm selfish. No dear, its just that in my older years I've smartened up. I'm not gonna allow anyone to use me, family or not.
Me and my older bro have had a volatile relationship for at least the past 12 years. Growing up we were extremely close, I looked up 2 him in many ways. But once he left the house and got married to his now ex-wife, things changed. I cant for certain say why it happened or exactly when our relationship took a turn to a worst but things have not been the same for many years.
My older bro is a selfish a$$hole. Now I have my moments of selfishness and a-holelishness, but pretty sure u cant categorize me as such. I'm very giving to my family but with my brother you dont see or hear from him unless he wants something from you or he wants to tell you about something good that has happened in his life. There's no quality time with my brother, theres no hey sis just checkin on ya to make sure ur still alive! I have spoken to him about this, reached out to him on numerous occassions, but there comes a point where if I'm the only one putting effort in repairing our relationship, I have a problem. Evidentually its not a priority for you so I gotta fall back as well.
In the past few years I've had to set boundaries with him. He prob thinks I'm selfish but its not that. If you only call me to borrow money, then every time I'm not gonna have it whether I do or not. And how is it that you are older than me but tend to be the irresponsible one? Yes we all run in2 money issues but with my brother its more irresponsibility than falling on hard times. Plus ur coming from a two income household and you make more than me! Dont you see a problem there?!
I havent spoken to my brother since July because I asked him if he would be a reference for my new car, he didnt have to sign anything, and they werent even going to call him its just a formality.....he told me he wouldnt be a reference for me bcuz he got too many ppl calling him now. ARE U F*CKING SERIOUS?!?!? I already had the car, keys and all, it wasnt as if he was becoming legally binding to the car plus I explained that no one was going to call him (which they didnt call any of my references) and you cant even do that for me?!?!?! So yea, I had to leave him alone b4 I caught a case.
But lo and behold fast fwd four months later, tonite..he comes literally banging on my door asking for money. No how ya doin, no hey its been a minute...just wants to borrow money. So I told him I didnt have it which technically I do but I aint givin my bill money to someone that culd care less about me. Plus he tends to conveniently forgot when he tells a person he's gonna pay him back. But on top of that why should I help you out when whenever I need you there's a problem. I remember one time I asked my brother to come over to move an air conditioner for me and he told me he couldnt because he had to get to the bar. Do you see what I am saying. If I need him its a muthaf*ckin problem but when he needs something I'm supposed to oblige instantaneously.
I love my brother becuz we're fam but I have to love him from afar. I cant surround myself with someone who only cares about what I can do for him. And then if I say no, then I'm selfish. No dear, its just that in my older years I've smartened up. I'm not gonna allow anyone to use me, family or not.
Comments
It's beyond our understanding how people can be related to us and lack basic human kindness. But if you read 2Timothy 3:1-5, you'll be shaking your head like dag!! So true.
Keep ya head up. :)-posted by LaLa (deleted by mistake)
I've been able to accept it for the most part bcuz I'm in control of only my actions. As long as I kno that I have tried at the end of the day it is what it is:)
Hope u had a nice holiday and wheres a new blog post ma'am?!:)
Maybe this is what it is for your brother? He find it hard to relate, and the only way he knows how to get your attention is to f k up?
that or he really is just an inconsiderate soandso.
I really do hope that you can be closer though, because i'm sure he must have been your hero at one point, no1 wants to lose that.
Oh, DSW shoe store has a great clearance sale on sandals, just thinking ahead cuz you know they'll be back to $50+ for the same ones next summer.