21+10 & a lil about me
This month I turn another year older, hopefully a little wiser. 31. Feels good. Not much has changed since turning 30. I have become less tolerant and patient with people. IDK if this is good or bad. Maybe a mixture of both. I just dont have time for drama. If i start to question the friendship or your trustworthiness, then theres a concrete reason for that. At this age I dont have time to wonder who is really my friend and who is not.With that being said, I do have few great friends that have and will continue to be important people in my lives. I dont get close to ppl easy and my friends are almost like family, some I feel as they are family. I think that is why I place so much importance on friendship bcuz these relationships go beyond just being a friend.
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Social anxiety+Quietness+Anti-Social Tendencies=A very nontalkative person.
I have social anxiety. I dont take meds for it, I dont have agoraphobia, but I do get nervous at times being in crowds or around ppl I dont know. Now if I know u & I'm comfy with u..u may not be able to shut me up lol, but I am generally a quiet person by nature. My social anxiety is weird bcuz i luuuuvv concerts and dont have a problem with going, but I will avoid a grocery store after a certain time so i dont have to be in crowds. I dont know where it comes from but i have learned to accept and deal with it. The anti socialness..I just dont like talking to people (sometimes). I HATE....LOATHE small talk and I find it usually pointless. All of these things just make me distant and quiet around new people. I'm sure people think I'm weird at times because of how quiet I can be but its just the way I have been for at least most of my life. Its not going to change.
I get tired of people "lecturing" me about being quiet as if its a bad thing. LET ME LIVE. I dont have a problem with being quiet, YOU have the problem with me being quiet. I have navigated life quite well thus far and have not had to be a loud mouth to do so. If everyone was talking all the time, when does anyone get anything done or have the ability to listen? I'm a great listener btw which prob helps me as a counselor lol.
Now dont get me wrong. I dont just sit back and let folks walk over me. I am very good at advocating for myself and standing up for myself. I just aint that social butterfly or the person commanding attention in the middle of the room. I'd rather be in the back, observing, watching, and having conversations in small groups. & Boy am I glad to be out of school cuz that public speaking thing is rough for your girl! Getting into my career, my last job helped with that maybe, since I was always kind of presenting due to running counseling groups. But I'd almost rather slit my wrist than talk in front of a group. Ok thats dramatic but you know what i mean lol.
I will say that being soooo quiet does get awkward and I know people look at me like dang will she say SUMTHIN! But I really cant help it most of the time. I am who I am. Those who know me accept my quietness but also know that I will talk when I am comfortable or when neccessary. Everyone else needs to get on board. Well mayb not even get on board...just let me live. I aint tell you about how you talk too D@mn much lol!
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I dont typically do 5 or 10 year plans. If I do they are usually quite vague because I cant really "plan" that far ahead. But I am going to work on a plan to buy a house by the time I am 35. I initially was going to wait til marriage but the way my dating life is going.....ya grl may just be waiting. So starting this month into October I am going to finalize a budget so I can start to save for the house. I have already spoke to a realtor and learned about some of the basics of the house buying process. And have the contact information for a mortgage broker so I am starting the process slowly but surely. I also hope to be in another job within the next year or two. I dont dislike my job, there are some things that make me want to pull my hair out but what job doesnt have a lil sumthin negative about it. The money is good tho;) buuuut, the job is draining and I just want to be in a more "normal" position with normal hours. Not trying to work the night shift for the rest of my life.
So everything is kewl. Cant complain. Gonna keep it real simple this year and just do a bday happy hour bcuz I dont feel like planning anything. I need to find an outfit but dont feel like shopping. boooooo.
Oh! Speaking of shopping. Why I ordered a dress from Macy's and they sent me a hand vacuum instead. WTH MACYS?! How yall get a dress and a vacuum confused. Grrrrrrr. I order a lot of things online and have never gotten an order messed up like that. I need macys to get theirselves together! This happened bout a week ago and I'm still ticked bout it lol. And the dress didnt evn fit...smdh.
Trying to keep this blogging thing going and not have months pass by between posts. Will be putting up a product post soon!
~Soulstress
***
Social anxiety+Quietness+Anti-Social Tendencies=A very nontalkative person.
I have social anxiety. I dont take meds for it, I dont have agoraphobia, but I do get nervous at times being in crowds or around ppl I dont know. Now if I know u & I'm comfy with u..u may not be able to shut me up lol, but I am generally a quiet person by nature. My social anxiety is weird bcuz i luuuuvv concerts and dont have a problem with going, but I will avoid a grocery store after a certain time so i dont have to be in crowds. I dont know where it comes from but i have learned to accept and deal with it. The anti socialness..I just dont like talking to people (sometimes). I HATE....LOATHE small talk and I find it usually pointless. All of these things just make me distant and quiet around new people. I'm sure people think I'm weird at times because of how quiet I can be but its just the way I have been for at least most of my life. Its not going to change.
I get tired of people "lecturing" me about being quiet as if its a bad thing. LET ME LIVE. I dont have a problem with being quiet, YOU have the problem with me being quiet. I have navigated life quite well thus far and have not had to be a loud mouth to do so. If everyone was talking all the time, when does anyone get anything done or have the ability to listen? I'm a great listener btw which prob helps me as a counselor lol.
Now dont get me wrong. I dont just sit back and let folks walk over me. I am very good at advocating for myself and standing up for myself. I just aint that social butterfly or the person commanding attention in the middle of the room. I'd rather be in the back, observing, watching, and having conversations in small groups. & Boy am I glad to be out of school cuz that public speaking thing is rough for your girl! Getting into my career, my last job helped with that maybe, since I was always kind of presenting due to running counseling groups. But I'd almost rather slit my wrist than talk in front of a group. Ok thats dramatic but you know what i mean lol.
I will say that being soooo quiet does get awkward and I know people look at me like dang will she say SUMTHIN! But I really cant help it most of the time. I am who I am. Those who know me accept my quietness but also know that I will talk when I am comfortable or when neccessary. Everyone else needs to get on board. Well mayb not even get on board...just let me live. I aint tell you about how you talk too D@mn much lol!
***
I dont typically do 5 or 10 year plans. If I do they are usually quite vague because I cant really "plan" that far ahead. But I am going to work on a plan to buy a house by the time I am 35. I initially was going to wait til marriage but the way my dating life is going.....ya grl may just be waiting. So starting this month into October I am going to finalize a budget so I can start to save for the house. I have already spoke to a realtor and learned about some of the basics of the house buying process. And have the contact information for a mortgage broker so I am starting the process slowly but surely. I also hope to be in another job within the next year or two. I dont dislike my job, there are some things that make me want to pull my hair out but what job doesnt have a lil sumthin negative about it. The money is good tho;) buuuut, the job is draining and I just want to be in a more "normal" position with normal hours. Not trying to work the night shift for the rest of my life.
So everything is kewl. Cant complain. Gonna keep it real simple this year and just do a bday happy hour bcuz I dont feel like planning anything. I need to find an outfit but dont feel like shopping. boooooo.
Oh! Speaking of shopping. Why I ordered a dress from Macy's and they sent me a hand vacuum instead. WTH MACYS?! How yall get a dress and a vacuum confused. Grrrrrrr. I order a lot of things online and have never gotten an order messed up like that. I need macys to get theirselves together! This happened bout a week ago and I'm still ticked bout it lol. And the dress didnt evn fit...smdh.
Trying to keep this blogging thing going and not have months pass by between posts. Will be putting up a product post soon!
~Soulstress
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